Attachment is a strong affectionate tie we have for special people in our lives that lead us to experience pleasure and joy when we interact with them and to be comforted by their nearness in times of stress (Berk, 2012). Infant attachment is linked very much to seeking closeness to the mother, trying to follow the mother in her movement and using crying to grab the mother’s attention in her absence. Psychoanalytic theory focuses on feeding as an important function in forming emotional bonds. Behaviourist link attachment to the theme of drive reduction whereby once the mother satisfies the baby’s hunger, her presence becomes a learned drive as it is paired with tension relief.
Actively thinking about our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, relationships and experiences helps us to grow, connect and move from an experience to self understanding. A powerful tool.
We are the centre of all our experiences. Yet we get consumed by each and every experience. Our engagements and involvements dry up our energies leaving us tired and dissatisfied. Yet we do the same thing over and over again. A quote from Einstein comes to my mind. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”.
What is love? Is it some kind of feeling that captures our hearts and refuses to let us go? Or is it some kind of magical feeling that zaps us? Is it a warm feeling that grows over time between two people who trust each other, that no matter what happens, either will catch the other should the other person fall? Is it a painful feeling that rips our hearts apart when our lover hurts us? Why is love so sweet, yet at times it can be so incredibly painful? What is love? These questions have plagued many over the centuries - from musicians, to poets, to writers and philosophers.