DisappointmentsWritten by Suki Tong Soon Han
A door slammed in our faces…A hope that had been raised so high, dashed to pieces…An expectation that had us excited, overnight disappeared into a cloud…
We are familiar with disappointments. At one time or another, we have been there – the familiar feeling of having our hopes crash. What is it about disappointment that pushes us to close our hearts and place it somewhere safe and untouchable?
Perhaps, we’ve experienced the flurry of love, fallen head over heels in love. Perhaps, we’ve had dreams of someone who would love us and cherish us. But it was not to be…and we were disappointed.
Maybe, there were many promises made to us – promises that the love would stay. But it was not to be…One after another, disappointments came in different forms, tearing our hearts and dashing our hopes into pieces.
So, after awhile, we have learnt to “immunize” our hearts from disappointments. For some of us, we avoid opening our hearts. When we experience the first flurry of the emotions of love, we push it away.
Others deal with it by expecting disappointments to come their way. They expect the worst in relationships. That way, they would never need to feel hurt or pain and their hearts would never be broken.
We can never avoid disappointments in life. They will come our way. Of course, it would be foolhardy to plunge into relationships without much thought. On the other hand, to block our hearts will hurt us eventually. We will be trapped in this cold and lonely place, where no one can touch us. That, in itself is hell.
Perhaps, we need to open our hearts gradually and just take a step at a time. As the relationship progresses further, we open our hearts a little at a time and allow that hope and light to flood in.
Yes, we may experience disappointments in the future. We may experience hurts; we will cry. I guess that’s the very essence of being human, isn’t it?
Raw deal in life? Disappointed? In pain? Experiencing self doubt? Feel the feelings. Disappointments are never easy.
- Take the time to heal. Pause and grieve if you must. There is no time frame for the grieving process, but these feelings need to be addressed so that you can let go and move on with your life in a purposeful manner.
- Create a vision board of what your future will look like. Use pictures from magazines to create your vision board. Find a quiet space and uninterrupted time. Look at the pictures and allow them to speak to you. Cut out the pictures that resonate with you. Paste them on the board to create a vision of the future you want. Place the vision board where you see it everyday.
Excerpt taken from “Quest of Love” © 2009 Suki Tong